Sunday, February 27, 2011

I am ugly

Haiz....kinda sleepy right now,had insomnia for two nights. This is crazy!!! Insomnia is killing and torturing me!!! This morning woke up,quite energetic that time. But after 4 or 5 hours,i started to feel sleepy and tired again. Side-effect of insomnia. Apalah ni. Well when i was at church, i was told by a friend of mine that she couldn't recognise me when she saw me and how come i prettier? Lol.... This is what i can only give.

Am I really pretty? I admit i'm don't look bad,but i admit that i'm not pretty as those pretty and sexy chicks. Though im look ok,still,i feel i'm very ugly.

I am ugly. I found this out yesterday in church. When I look at the mirror,i wore nicely,but i am ugly. I was wondering. Why?? Yesterday was Jonathan Tse's concert. He shared some messages,and we sang respond song,Amazing Grace. There,I found out the reason why I am ugly. I cried.

I am ugly,because of my ugly past.
I am ugly,because of the sin I did.

Yet,i feel do not deserve him. Sorry dear. He said he doesn't mind,because everything is a new start. Indeed,it is. But i feel unfair for you because my past,my dear. The truth is,i really love him.

It is also the same,i do not deserve Him too,our Father God. By all His grace,yet,i know,not matter how unworthy,still God loves us. He sacrificed His only son Jesus Christ to die on cross for our sin. How great is this love. God,indeed,you are the most amazing and wonderful God. By His grace,i was provided and blessed by God. One of it is the relationship I having now. I'm thankful for everything He gave,blessed and protected. Thank you God.

And thanks,darling,for everything. Your love,your embrace......

After Jonathan Tse's concert,this song keeps on playing in my mind. I remember when I was in Sunday School,we used to sing that. I Have Decided.

I have follow Jesus...
I have follow Jesus...
I have follow Jesus...
No turning back......

Christian's life never easy. And everything that gone through and past,there is no turning point. Yet,live in Godly way,follow God,and continue to move on.

Yes,I am ugly. I have decided to follow God. And I know God is moving,I am moving,my life is changing. All these are because of our Almighty God. Hallelujah.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Almost end of February

It has been months I didn't update my blog. Well,so far so good. Just felt that wasted my February as last few weeks I're having my holiday in my hometown and only sit in front of my laptop everyday. Argh.

Well,it is happy and excited that I've came back to PJ. Miss my dear so much within that 3 weeks. Keep on counting how many days left till the day i come back. Yes,I'm back,last Saturday. Yay!!!

The next day,Sunday,had a belated Valentine's date with my darling. Thanks,dar. I enjoyed the night. He brought me to Garden at 1-Utama for dinner. Nice food, nice atmosphere, nice piano. Everything so romantic and it is like still Valentine's Day. Like people always says,for couples,everyday is Valentine's Day. Then,we went for movie,Green Hornet. It was not as bad as people comment and rate it. The way Jay Chou act and English that he spoke quite impress me. Jay Chou,well done,finally you know how to speak English. Hoping for nice movie and nice songs from you in future.

Monday,I'm kinda excited and can't wait to go back to university to register for my degree. After took my result,i was told to go to the Admission counter to go through my result approval. You know why? My CGPA got 2.30,and the required credit is 2.33. Man,just 0.03 different. They said have to wait for 2-3 days,and my housemates told me to wait until after the orientation week. Argh. Miss out the orientation week,but another extra week for me to settle down. Yet,I can say,I'm still worrying that will they allow me to further my degree. Most of them said that it is possible to further.

Still,God,help me. I have faith in You. Like what bishop had preached last Saturday. Must have faith in God. Nothing is impossible when you believe and have faith in God. You have faith,but you doubt,it is same as you not trust God. So,believe and trust it will all your heart. I believe this. God has His plan for every single person. We must walk in FAITH.

That night,we went to watch Yogi Bear. It is a nice movie too. Darling said that it is good that I choose to watch it because Yogi Bear makes me happy when i'm stress that time. Dear,you right. At least I'm relax a bit.

Yesterday,Wednesday,went to darling's house to cook lunch. Well,I'm happy with what i cooked. And my dear and his housemate enjoyed it too. Thanks for support. Haha... Night then,we had prayer meeting at church. Through the prayer meeting,I realized that in our daily life,there is a lot of things that we seldom or never pray for. And of course,last night we had the opportunity to pray for it. I'm glad that everyone and the church is moving and growing. Thanks God. Praise to You!

Aha,one thing,quite excited that darling is going to record the 1st song for his 2nd album later evening. Yay!!! Can't wait to listen and buy and get his autograph again for his 2nd album. Haha... Yes,I mean. Wish you all the best dear. Gambatte. I'll always support you.

Now,still looking forward some positive updates for my degree registration. Hope that everything run smoothly and i manage to further my degree. And also hope that one day I can follow my dear to go to his concert. Can't wait for that. Just uphold everything to God's almighty hand. =)