Sunday, February 27, 2011

I am ugly

Haiz....kinda sleepy right now,had insomnia for two nights. This is crazy!!! Insomnia is killing and torturing me!!! This morning woke up,quite energetic that time. But after 4 or 5 hours,i started to feel sleepy and tired again. Side-effect of insomnia. Apalah ni. Well when i was at church, i was told by a friend of mine that she couldn't recognise me when she saw me and how come i prettier? Lol.... This is what i can only give.

Am I really pretty? I admit i'm don't look bad,but i admit that i'm not pretty as those pretty and sexy chicks. Though im look ok,still,i feel i'm very ugly.

I am ugly. I found this out yesterday in church. When I look at the mirror,i wore nicely,but i am ugly. I was wondering. Why?? Yesterday was Jonathan Tse's concert. He shared some messages,and we sang respond song,Amazing Grace. There,I found out the reason why I am ugly. I cried.

I am ugly,because of my ugly past.
I am ugly,because of the sin I did.

Yet,i feel do not deserve him. Sorry dear. He said he doesn't mind,because everything is a new start. Indeed,it is. But i feel unfair for you because my past,my dear. The truth is,i really love him.

It is also the same,i do not deserve Him too,our Father God. By all His grace,yet,i know,not matter how unworthy,still God loves us. He sacrificed His only son Jesus Christ to die on cross for our sin. How great is this love. God,indeed,you are the most amazing and wonderful God. By His grace,i was provided and blessed by God. One of it is the relationship I having now. I'm thankful for everything He gave,blessed and protected. Thank you God.

And thanks,darling,for everything. Your love,your embrace......

After Jonathan Tse's concert,this song keeps on playing in my mind. I remember when I was in Sunday School,we used to sing that. I Have Decided.

I have follow Jesus...
I have follow Jesus...
I have follow Jesus...
No turning back......

Christian's life never easy. And everything that gone through and past,there is no turning point. Yet,live in Godly way,follow God,and continue to move on.

Yes,I am ugly. I have decided to follow God. And I know God is moving,I am moving,my life is changing. All these are because of our Almighty God. Hallelujah.

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