Friday, December 31, 2010

Bye bye 2010,Hi hi 2011

Few hours ago just entered 2011. Yeah! Should be happy. Last night was the first time I celebrated New Year Eve in FCC. Wow...it was a fruitful and meaningful night. We celebrated through prayer meeting. During the prayer meeting,when we prayed,a lot of things started to flashback in my mind again. Throughout the whole year,I really been through a lot of things that I never expected or things that i wished not happen. End up,it still. Some sort of misery coming back. Well,yes,most of the things I been through were quite sad,unfortunate and sad. I lost a lot of things...... But I admitted that 2010 was a fruitful and interesting year. Why? God entered my life and I felt His presence. Before I came here to study,I know a bit about God and my faith in God was not that strong. And also a lot of things that I couldn't overcome. After I came here,I started to go FCC. I learned a lot of things basically and I came to know God more. The faith kept growing. And a lot of things which i couldn't overcome,finally now I can overcome. Happy that I could see God really changing my life. I once lost,as mentioned,but I was found,and God restored me for the things I lost. God loves me so much. And I just want to give thanks. It is hard to describe in words. Thank you Father God for the wonderful 2010,thank you Father God that You let so many things happened in previous year so that I learn and grow from it,thank you Father God that take away and restore me for what I lost,thank you Father God that You blessed me and gave me a wonderful relationship,etc. So many things to give thanks. Father God,pray that may Your presence always be with me.
New year,new day,new life,new plan,new aim,new phone,new age,new...etc.
During prayer meeting,I had set a wishlist or aims for 2011. Hopefully I can make it.
Wishlist:
1.I can make it and succeed in my study
2.Have a fruitful and happy relationship and continue to grow in it
3.I can plan and manage things well
4.Plan for future(relationship)
5.Serve God more(that's one of the way to give thanks to God)
6.Forgive those who I haven't forgive(hope this can overcome it as soon as possible)
Happy New Year everyone. Enjoy the new year and the new life. And also continue to glorify His name. =)

Monday, November 8, 2010

Special one,a special gift from God

Haha... I mentioned in previous post that I will talk about this in next post. Ya. Special one. It was quite a period ago,something bad happened to me. What a disgrace. Anyway,I learnt from the mistakes,I learnt from this "tribulation". I guess God let this happened purposely. Anyway,thanks God that He loves me so much. He allowed it happened as to test and let me learn from it,He still keep on protect and love me though. Thank you,Father God. Of course,I did not lose but I gained,in experience,faith and also relationship with God. After quite a period after that matter,God blessed me with someone special. Hehe... Well,he is special as who he is. A person who is devoted to God,has dream and will plan for future,talented,caring,etc. Haha....Too many,have no idea to write out all. We have the same thing to aim in future. Well,I guess that is one of the points which we started together recently. Hehe... God blessed me with a new relationship too. Thank you,Father God. After this relationship started,of course,I did learn a lot too,for instance,love. We learn together,grow together. We do have faith in each other,and of course,we do love each other very much,as our love towards each other increase everyday. Hmm... Feels like this is a special relationship that I never had before.
Father God always surprise me.^^
Father God,thank you for the gifts that You gave. I pray that Father God,You will continue to protect and bless our relationship,and also lead us to the way that You want us to go together. Use us to glorify Your name as well. Thank you,Father God.
I hope that this will be my last relationship and hope that we can hold our hands together till the end of the day. Maybe it sounds like I'm daydreaming or too naive,but then,this is what I want,a pure and simple love and happiness from beloved one. Love you,always. ^_^♥♥♥

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Long Monday...

Monday always a long long long long day to go. It sounds like an endless day. Argh...
Today I don't know what happened to me. The thought of changing course keep on appears in my mind which makes me so want to change course NOW. Change course it's not easy too as you have to consider a lot,college,condition,tuition fees,for instance. Well,I'm still very confuse that should I change my course or continue to study it. I thought to change to psychology. Study person's behavior is one of the things I interested in. But then,how about my aim? I do have aims of course,which is to build a special building and house for special one. Hehe... We talk about that special one in another post. Back to topic. I more interested in study psychology compare to architecture. But then,what if i do not interested in psychology again after study it??? It sounds like 3 minutes for things that I do then. God,show me the way You want me to go. Or maybe I should decide it after I finished my foundation course. If I could not pass my foundation course and further degree,I will change immediately. If I passed,then bo ben lo. God,I uphold everything to You,please show me the way. Amen.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Father God sets me free when I am stress.

Just now,I was so stress. Why? When I draw,even traced it,I found out I can't even draw!I did pray to God before I start drawing. Then I start draw,but can't. I started to struggle and stress. I felt like wanna give up in studying this course. I so wanna quit. But I can't do so. Then I find my friend,somehow,it seems like nothing else could help me. I posted a post in my wall. And some of my friends started to comment on it. I find another friend of mine,then we started to our point of view. He then recommended me a friend which I just knew last Saturday. He did give me some advises. In the meanwhile when we did all these,I suddenly cried. I cried not because I'm stress,it is because I felt God is there with me all the time! It is hard to describe in words how are those feelings feel like. Those feelings are too strong which caused me started to cry. Father God,thank you. I must admit that Father God is always beside me and in my heart. My share group leader and other members in FCC ever said that must have faith in God,miracles will happen then. It is true. It is so true. Why I say so? Wherever I go,whatever I doing,God is here with me,24/7. He never leave me for even half of the second! He protects me every time,He blesses my everyday life,He let me learn and grow through all things that happened in my life no matter how bad it is. Father God so loves me. I'm so touch and can't stop crying,seriously. The feelings is so strong. Father God,thank you for Your grace and mercy. Thank you for everything that You granted me. Thank you everything that You gave me. Thank you so much.

PS: Friends of mine,if you always blaming this and that in your life,do you ever think of the reasons why things happen? Seek for God's help,rely Him more and more,and also have faith in Him. Read more bible too,so we know what God wants to tell us. How wonderful and beautiful He is.^^

Thank you,Father,the most wonderful God.^^


Sunday, September 19, 2010

我回来了

放了一个月多的假,终于也到了个尾声。一个月,说来长不长,短不短,不长不短。就在这短短的一个月里,确实感受了很多、体验了很多、想了很多、发生了很多的事。回来家乡的同时,是带着一个沉重的心情回来。事情每天不断地在演变,让人摸不着。回来了,我的家。因之前发生太多事,就想说回到来,就静静地,享受和度过一个宁静又轻松的假期。但事情没想得那么天真。事情还未结束,因还未解决。才回到来不到几天,却急着想回去大学生活的地方。为求的只是想尽快解决当时遇到的烦恼.事情闹得那么僵,我们之间也开始有距离。该相信他或不,是件很矛盾的事情。虽然口口声声说不相信他的一切(那是对自己残忍,好让自己不继续爱下去的方式),但到头来,还是傻傻的相信他。是自己在给希望自己,还是太心软?因此,也就emo了三个星期。三个星期?!哇靠。既然彼此都答应了对方某些事,我就暂时不再提。又过了一阵子,他音讯全无。想说找找他。却没想到他发生了一些事。觉得自己真的很没用,因为自己帮不了他,而且也不能在他身边陪着他,支持他。真失败......烦恼从不曾离开过我,反而越来越多。肩膀好重......假期放完了,也回来了。本来带着一颗很期待的心回来。可是会到来,把所有东西做完了。约定好的,却被放空。找不到人,我又能说什么?想坚持,但很累。我现在又能怎样?我回来了,不是一直被期待的吗?他现在又在何处?T_T原来去到哪都那么痛苦......

Sunday, July 18, 2010

星期日晚上至星期一早晨

昨晚,跟你又说了那么一大堆的事,不晓得你是否有把它放在心里或仔细想想。当我问起你一些事,你却给我一些因为她而作为理由的时候,我承认,当时我很失落,很心酸。心酸的不是什么,而是你始终放不下。而且,突然见你问我,是否还在等着你,我答是。我在想,你为什么想知道,毕竟你是不会在乎,也不会感觉得到的,不是吗?你心中就只有她。感觉上现在好像放弃,因为开始觉得累......是因为失败导致我累,还是我坚持的信念不够?昨晚对你说要睡了,我却很冷淡地和你说声晚安。我不是想对你冷淡或什么,而是在告诉自己,这么做,我才能轻易放手。我很想放手,可我心还未死。这几个星期也许不该再烦你,这么一来,可能你会想得比较开吧。晚一些,我无意间发现,我很久没浏览前男友的fb profile。浏览后,我竟然哭了。为什么会这样...?我已没有再想他,没有再爱他,也已放为下了他。可是为什么会哭?是因为他在我心留下的伤疤吗?还是潜意识我根本还没彻底放下他?是为什么...?
今早起来,就如往常一样,忙准备上学。出门时,我竟然忘了拿钥匙出,结果反锁了房间,得叫房东来开门。赶时间的关系,被逼不把朋友叫醒开门出。Sorry,Penny,disturbed you sleep.在巴士上,我就想,今天我不会找你,所以我一定要做到。唯有对自己残酷一点,才能够放手。可是我心里真的在叫我放手吗?去到了学院,却没怎么上课,就如往常一样,上网。讲师来跟我们讨论了我们的assignment后,回到电脑前,奇怪,msn怎么亮了灯,该不会就真的是你吧??结果是真的。唉......失败了。不用紧,还有明天。再接再厉。我可以的。只要我要做的事,没人阻挡得了我。

Monday, July 12, 2010

video

有你的早晨

今天起得特别早,完全不用闹钟,可能是睡不着吧。一大早就只想打我的部落。还好没把你吵醒。我想了一整夜,我,是否真的抱太多希望?我是否在怀疑我对你的爱?突然感觉好累好累......是因为我不懂得再爱,还是我意志不够坚定,还是我自欺欺人?要你忘了她,确实需要时间,但是你始终好像不肯放手。有时候看到你,会感到心酸。我告诉过自己我会坚持,我也很努力的在拼。可是我觉得我好像还在路的尾端,而你就在前段。是我跑得太慢,还是你跑得太快,还是我再后退,还是我本来就原地不动?当你睡着靠在我肩膀时候,感觉很幸福但又心酸。看着你沉睡的样子,就让我有种想抱你的冲动。可我不可以这么做。不可以。我现在心很不安。我现在...面对着你的当儿...又能怎样......?

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

昨天才刚update我的blog,没想到那么快又要update了。我该说我高兴,还是伤心?有种歇斯底里的感觉。哈哈...我真有够笨的啦。明知故犯。哈哈哈哈哈...我几时才会学聪明点?哈哈哈...说实在的,我真的很希望现在有个能让我躺的肩膀,这还算有点安慰。哭过了,也许会好些......我说过,我坚持的,我必坚持下去,我一定等。等待是我的专长。这事情的发生,确实好难过,也感到可惜,只能怪自己还没做足到一百分。就当作是一种考验吧,这考验毕竟还没结束。Mel啊,加油哦,不能再轻易认输了。现在能做的,就是一直陪伴在你身旁,做你的后备。只要你需要任何东西,我一定帮你到底。刚才也在youtube找到我最爱的歌。虽然它没有弹得像我在广场听到的那么感人,但至少我找到这首歌的钢琴版本。希望有一天我还能再听到当天那么动人的版本,好让我再为这首歌落泪......而另一首歌,是我想对你说的。
video video

Monday, July 5, 2010

有好久没update我的blog了。也不能怪的,因为没什么好写。最近也发生好多事。就说其中一点,我又恋爱了。是很值得高兴,没错,我也很开心我爱他。可是短短几天,我却开始有压力了。有压力到任何事都做不了,甚至今天连上学都成问题。我发觉我对爱情好陌生,因为我已记不起该如何爱。于是今天在上完课后就立刻回家,然后跟她说我很想过去找他,我当时真的很需要。可没想到,他好像没把这当一回事,算了吧,我决定自己下金河。第一次自己下吉隆坡。搭电车时,我就一路想我的问题。到了金河广场,逛着,买着东西时也在想。想想想,我就决定回去找人辅导我,也决定主动一点,对他问我想问的,说我想说。回家途中,我才发现我今天用了好多好多钱。我又在想,我是不是压力大的时候会变成购物狂?算了,至少出来透透气,散散心,逛一逛,也好了一些。亲爱的,我有打电话给你,你没接,不晓得你是否在忙。我晚点再打。我真的很想你,也好像跟你说很多话。我其实还感觉到,你还想念她。不过不要紧,我会努力让你忘掉她。虽然短短几天,我已感觉到我爱得你很深。不管你发生什么事,我都想成为第一个与你一起分担的人。不管你有任何心事,我全都要听。因为我不想看你心事累累的样子。如果觉得那是会伤害我的话,我想说,我的心被铺了一道钢墙,所以大可放心。我不放心的就只有你。好想看你笑的样子。我仍然会等。等你完全康复的一天。Je t'aime,chéri.
爱你的我...
这首歌送你...
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Saturday, June 5, 2010

Colourless Saturday

哇...我竟然打破纪录,晚上十一点多才开始上网。平时一天没电脑就好像会死这样,反而刚才没有呢。不错不错。星期六,刚好是公共假期。阿姨和家人刚好过来玩,所以就顺便下来找我。就一起逛购物商场。逛完后,回家后,就把买到给宝贝女儿的东西给它。它很开心呢。^^准备好东西,就如往常的时间去教堂。
在教堂,就如往常一样,坐在那边发呆边等着开始。无意间看到“他”从里面出来。我突然有想闪躲的感觉。于是就找我朋友来当屏风,挡着我在后。service started,and also started preaching. the preaching really spoke out my heart......i cried when prayed,because i do really have a wound there.Oh Father,please......please heal me......
散堂后,也如往常一样,到外面个朋友聊天,然后去吃晚餐喝茶。正坐着等着他们在商量要到哪儿去晚餐时,“他”突然在我面前跑过!他对我笑了笑,我也勉强地对他微笑了一下。我当下为什么看到“他”却笑不出?
到吃饭那,身边坐着个帅哥,爽。^^叫spaghetti carbonara,WTF,就一碟面和ham,吃下去,感觉粉粉的,还是八块钱的东西。有没有搞错?算。还是回AC或taman megah。朋友交了啤酒,请我喝,我喝。就没喝啤酒了。再怎么说,啤酒味道还好过烧酒味道。但啤酒味道开始不能接受了,因为之前喝过一个蛮好喝的,Swing,43%,爽。算啦,喝。喝完了两杯半,看着“他”,顿时想着,我好想躲,好想当时看不到他,因为至少那样我不会再胡思乱想。Oh my goodness,what's wrong with me today...? I really can't think of any colours which can describe my mood,my thinking and everything.

Friday, June 4, 2010

忙碌的星期五

从刚才傍晚六点放学,回到家后,就一直忙到现在凌晨十二点多才有空上网和写部落。
每个星期五的最后一堂课,也是我觉得最无聊的一课。五点上课,就进去坐,发呆到五点多。然后讲师说要给我们看一个影片。结果开出来是关于双峰塔的影片。我们就鬼叫了一下,以为是个很闷的影片,可我们还是有看下去,但有些就睡觉,正常。影片是说建造双峰塔的原因、过程和所遇到的种种困难。前面部分就很闷,可后来慢慢的,就越精彩,越引起我的好奇心想追看下去。就这样,慢慢的,读architecture的那份坚持与恒心,就这样的重捡。当看完那双峰塔时,我可感受到一起为这计划而拼命的工作人员们完成计划的喜悦。这也让我更想去闯,去尝试。就像建双峰塔一样,当初他们也遇到种种困难,可是为了达成目的,六年,他们都不曾放弃。这也告诉我,虽然现在年这一课很艰难,就像建双峰塔般,但我一定要坚持下去,这也算是给自己的一个交代。我,拼了!
回到家,因为怕不像我那宝贝仓鼠女儿再咬笼子的铁,所以把它抓出来放进仓鼠完的球里。带到房里,放在书桌某个很安稳的地方。球真的稳住了。当我在整理东西时,就听到一声东西掉到地上的声音。我的宝贝!!!!它在球里吓得僵住了。我怎样弄那球,它都一点反应也没。嘴巴微微开着,只见鼻子出了点血。我快吓慌了。我倒它出来在我手心上,它才慢慢地站起来。站起来时,站得不稳,慢慢走也走得很摇晃,然后又倒下。Snowball,sorry......是妈妈的错,没好好照顾好你。你不要有事,妈妈就只剩你在我身边了。不要丢下妈妈......你会没事的...... Oh my,Snowbal...... T_T

Monday, May 31, 2010

对传销的感想

凌晨时分,当忙着赶assigment的时候,突然,one of my female buddy,找我。她问说:“我们是buddy吗?”这是当然的啦。她有问:“那如果buddy需要支持的话,你会支持吗?”就这句话,我一猜想到她想说什么了。所以我也照我的心去说:“depends.”结果正是如此,她直接进话题,就说需要我支持她的生意(amway传销)。糟糕。她就一直要我加入。可我对这些真的没兴趣呢,虽然是有钱赚。
致身边做传销的朋友:
朋友们,很谢谢你们把我当朋友。但是你是真正把我当朋友看待,还是把我当赚钱的工具?我真的对传销一点兴趣都没。此外,我对传销的说话技巧实在感到敏感。为何此说?因为他们把传销说得天花龙凤,而且说得好像他们是神那样,只有他们才能给你希望。WTF!我就曾经体验过才会这么说。我有个朋友,就因为我推掉他的传销,他就说:“现在我给你机会成功,是你自己不要。不要后悔。”我直接回他:“我不稀罕。”确实,我不稀罕。因为我要成功,是迟早的事。做人得脚踏实地,我根本不会要去妄想一步登天的事。当一件事情没有基础,你越爬得越高的时候,你就摔得越狠。所以,朋友们,不要再和我说传销。朋友说钱伤感情。如果真的把我当朋友,就要像对待朋友般对待我。如果要传销,去找那些不是你的朋友来做你顾客。谢谢。
最后我还想说,I'M TOTALLY FED-UP OF SELLS!!!

Friday, April 9, 2010

繁忙都市的七点早晨



住在一个繁忙的城市,确实是个新的开始。可以尝试这里的生活节奏,这里的繁忙,这里的生活方式。以为繁忙可冲淡这一切,可我没料到还是不行。看着七点的早晨、七点早晨的堵车,顿时想了想,我就像是在堵车行列里的某个驾驶者。堵着堵着,不晓得何时才能到达目的地;等着等着,不晓得何时才能到达你心里。可这好像是个很遥远的旅程。就算我到达了,你却从不把门开锁,因为你的心已容纳了另一个人,却容纳不了我。你曾说过没人能取代她位子。对,没错,因为她在你心里是最完美的唯一。如今,看着你这因她而狼狈的样子,我真的心痛。有时,你用身边的人来忘记她或说用游戏来忘记她,你只是在逃避事实。为何不勇敢面对然后忘记?忘记了她,然后再重新出发。我不可再让你这样下去,可我又能做些什么?我是我,她是她,永远不能被取代的她。我的心真的很痛,我真的很不忍心再看你这样下去。忘记她确实需要时间,但我有的也是时间,我愿意等。我只希望你幸福快乐。我说过,只要我坚持的,我一定坚持到底。可我觉得自己很傻。我知道就算有一天你的心门打开了,能走进去的人也不可能会是我。我很开心你曾送一份在我过来读书前的“礼物”。这份“礼物”真的很珍贵,很美丽,很特别。可我希望这份“礼物”是永远的。我很快就会回去了,我很希望再次收到这份“礼物”。希望这次是份永恒的“礼物”。而且也希望再次听到你重新打从心底地对我说......“我爱你”......

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I'm In The Mood For Love

I'm in the mood for love simply because you're near me
Funny but when you're near me, I'm in the mood for love.
Heaven is in your eyes, bright as the stars we're under,
Oh, is it any wonder, I'm in the mood for love.
Why stop to think of whether this little dream might fade,
We´ve put our hearts together - now we are one, I'm not afraid.
If there's a cloud above, if it should rain, we'll let it.
But for tonight forget it, I'm in the mood for love.

这首歌曾被很多歌手翻唱过。而我最喜欢的版本是Rod Stewart的版本。我还记得当初我和他在一起时的那种感觉。真的就像在做梦的感觉。这首歌足于形容当下的甜蜜、开心、幸福。想回去,真觉得很幸福。很可惜这短暂的幸福来得实在太快,也走得太匆忙。我很希望你会幸福。我很想忘记你。可是好难。过不久我就会回去,我很希望这一切能重新开始。可是,在你我之间,已被你判下了死刑。希望你会听到这首送你的歌,想起过去一起的快乐,也会改变主义,回心转意。我虽说要忘了你,但其实我依然还在等待着你。

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

没那么简单

没那麼简单 就能找到 聊得来的伴
尤其是在 看过了那麼多的背叛
总是不安 只好强悍
谁谋杀了我的浪漫
没那麼简单 就能去爱 别的全不看
变得实际 也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单 一久也习惯
不用担心谁 也不用被谁管
感觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话 随便听可可西 自己作决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上 关上了手机 舒服窝在沙发裡
相爱没有那麼容易 每个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪 轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那麼容易 才会特别让人著迷
什麼都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心 所以最开心 曾经

《没那么简单》收集在黄小琥的专辑,《简单.不简单》。这首歌诉说了爱情的真实世界。我很想把这首歌送给一个朋友。希望他会去听。

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Love


Love is such a wonderful and amazing thing. Without love,life will just like always in the darkness.
Love is also a powerful thing. With the power of love,nothing is impossible in this world.
Love is always to be said blind. The reason is when you a love person,you won't ever care what will happen to him/her. For instance,he/she cripple,he/she ugly or handsome/ugly or pretty,he/she in distance,he/she poor or rich and etc. If you do really love him/her,everything will always be covered by love. Don't ever try to hesitate. Things will always be ok with the power of love though sometimes there is problems.
And yet,it is worth though sometimes you have to pay for love.
Love can always bring happiness to you.
Use your heart,to feel the love that you have.
Sometimes thing is fate,but we always can change the future as things always in our hand. So to love. Just grab it tight when you found your love happiness. Don't hesitate your love towards a person. It will irritate you more and make thing worse.

今天逛广场时,突然听见了优美动人的钢琴声,就往琴声方向寻找。
原来。她利用了钢琴,把一首歌的情绪、心情、含义、心声、味道,等等,都带出来。真令人听出耳油。
找了个位子,坐在一旁,欣赏那动人的琴声。听着听着,钢琴家谈到了一首我喜欢的歌,《失落沙洲》。
顿时,我随着音乐唱了歌。听着唱着,眼泪也随着失控流下。
歌词的含义,也是我心声,代表着我思念他的情绪。我好想他。可否不要放手?T_T

幸福的终结

嗨,部落格。好久没上线找你了。
最近真的好像发了一场梦一样。
以为真的找到幸福了,却没想到那只是假象。
明天就得开始我的大学生涯了。临走前两个星期,我找到了我要的幸福。
那两个星期,真的很幸福,很快乐。也像在做梦,或换句话说,如掉进童话故事里般。
走了后,噩梦连连。我也醒觉了。那只不过是一场梦。
如果真的爱,昨天就不会说出如此的话。
是真的在犹豫距离的问题吗,还是在犹豫是不是爱我?
如果连挨我也犹豫,那当初为何给我希望?
我曾说过我很讨厌没收曾亲自给我希望的人。
我真的那么好玩吗......?
昨天逛广场时,无论逛到哪,到处都是他。我快疯了。

Monday, March 1, 2010

分手两个月后的日子

分手两个月后的今天,我仍然还想着你,等待着你。但同时间,我也已开始恨你。又爱又恨。现在,我想要的,就是把你从我世界彻彻底底地忘掉。忘掉一切的痛,忘掉一切的感觉,忘掉曾一起去过的地方,忘掉曾经历过的一切,忘掉有关你的一切,忘掉你的模样,忘掉你的姓名,等等。我不想再想起你任何事情,也不想再见到你,不想再听到有关你的事,也不想再提有关你的事。有人说,忘掉过往,就像忘了自己和失去记忆,我不在乎。只要没有了你这痛苦,我不惜一切。忘掉你,我就可过我的新生活。不要说我变得冷酷,是你在我心里划下了无底洞般深的伤痕。只要忘掉你,我才能寻找我真正的幸福与快乐。

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

心情反复的日子

初一(情人节),他失约。因某些合理原因
初二,我和亲戚去看戏,看完了,在戏院门口遇见了他。当时我又像上次遇见他是发抖。瞬间,一切我不想回想的过往与心情,顿时全部由再次回来了。想念他的那种思念与痛,又再次回到我身边。
初三,我哼着歌,边哼边想边哭。我真的好像他。
为什么他如此忍心抛下我?当初的约定与誓言呢?
我真的无法忍受没有他的一天。
如果他真的爱我,他应该会很在乎我,也不会就着我离我而去。
可是,为什么?我得等到何时?我真的好累......

Thursday, February 4, 2010

解心人的出现

前天,我打了一通电话给以好朋友,就像说问问情人节若要送礼物可送什么。我们说着说着,却扯到感情话题(理所当然我没问到我要问的问题)。他问我:“为什么新年不要开开心心地过?为什么就是要把头载进去?为什么就是要等待一个你一直到的答案?”当时我心里想说我还爱他,我是不能那么容易放弃,就算答案再伤人,我也要等到。我很不甘心。他说:“在人生路上是没有U-turn的。逆转回去,答案还是一样。那又何必呢?”他还说了很多很多。我想了想,确实很有道理。我干嘛要委屈自己?开开心心过年,开开心心过单身情人节,不很好吗?所以我真的想通了。朋友们,不必再为我担心了。我可能偶尔会发下牢骚,但我已没事了。豪豪,谢谢你的那段话哦。我没事咯。=)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

寻找挖心贼

这世界充满了不少东西。稀奇的、美好的、快乐的、悲伤的、愤怒的,等……
就因如此,世界充满了不满、斗争、伤害。
这几天我拼命的在挣扎。每到晚上,那段过往,就会不断在我脑海里浮现。我试着跟自己拼命的去对抗不要再去想,但它们一直飘浮不走,而且还越浮现越多。越看见那段过往,心痛的感觉就越强烈。你知道被刀割伤的痛吗?你知道被刺的痛吗?那些痛对我而言不算什么,因为那些痛比不上心痛还来得痛。当这种感觉出现的时候,我脑海里总有一个奇怪的画面,就是我手里拿着一只装满了化学药剂的针筒,往心口插进去,然后把化学药剂打进心里。这不和死没差?
在这世上什么东西都有,但“挖心贼”存在吗?我已领悟了。在我世界里,除了冷漠以外,其它的感觉我是不能要的,因为我终于明白,我的世界是绝对不能允许有爱情、希望,等等情感的存在。如果有了同情心,我会同情很多没必要同情的事。如果有了爱情的心,我还会不断爱他直到我死那天。如果有了痛,我心痛的感觉就会一直存在。如果有了伤心和自卑感,那些伤心和失落的感觉就会一直存在着。如果有了希望,我就会一直期待奇迹的出现。这一切真的很痛……又有谁能了解…?你?他?他怎么可能会懂?他以沉溺在爱河里。就因为这些感觉,这些心,这些情感,害死了我。
我慎重恳求“挖心贼”,就当同情我,把我所有的感觉和心给挖空吧。我真的快撑不下去了。我不想再做个有感觉,有情感的人。如果能把我变得冷酷无情,代价却是只剩我自己一个,我也不在乎了。这一切都太痛了,我撑不住了。“挖心贼”,你到底在哪!快出现啊!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

“爱情就是这样”

[聊天]是增进感情
[约会]是多一点共同回忆
[吵架]是多认识对方,并且学会和好
[亲亲爱爱]是享受甜蜜气息
[麻痹]是习惯的代语
[承诺]是证明这段感情经得起考验和信任与责任
[努力]是代表真的在乎
[感动]是因为被爱,一点一滴滑过在心坎里
[付出]是因为爱不知道怎么给,不能求回报但也不荷求
[真心]是因为真爱不容易来临,一旦来了就该真诚的去把握

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

12 GOOD reasons why BEER is worse than women

1. You can enjoy BEER all month long,because you will waste your money all month long.
2. BEER is never late,because it is too early to destroy your health.
3. BEER is always wet,and yet,it is bitter.
4. A frigid BEER is a good BEER,because it makes you dizzy.
5. If you poor a right BEER,you'll always get good head,because you think it is cool and fun.
6. A BEER doesn't get jealous,when you grab another BEER,because BEER has no feelings.
7. A BEER always goes down easy,because BEER is worse than any drinks.
8. You can have more than one BEER in a night without feeling guilty,because it makes you addicted.
9. You can share a BEER with your friends,because BEER has no shameness.
10.A BEER won't get upset if you bring another BEER home,because you no need responsible for it.
11.When you go to a bar,you can always pickup a BEER randomly,because all the BEER are the same.
12.A BEER never has a headache.

12 GOOD reasons why BEER is better than women

1. You can enjoy BEER all month long.
2. BEER is never late.
3. BEER is always wet.
4. A frigid BEER is a good BEER.
5. If you poor a right BEER,you'll always get good head.
6. A BEER doesn't get jealous,when you grab another BEER.
7. A BEER always goes down easy.
8. You can have more than one BEER in a night without feeling guilty.
9. You can share a BEER with your friends.
10.A BEER won't get upset if you bring another BEER home.
11.When you go to a bar,you can always pickup a BEER randomly.
12.A BEER never has a headache.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

心酸

走不完的长巷 原来也就那么长
跑不完的操场 原来小成这样
时间的手 翻云覆雨了什么
从我手中 夺走了什么
闭上眼看 十六岁的夕阳 美得像我们一样
边走边唱 天真浪漫勇敢 以为能走到远方
我们曾相爱 想到就心酸
人潮拍打上岸 一波波欢快的浪
校门口老地方 我是等候堤防
牵你的手 人群里慢慢走
我们手中 藏有全宇宙
闭上眼看 最后那颗夕阳 美得像一个遗憾

《心酸》收录在林宥嘉2009年的第二专辑《感官/世界》。
林宥嘉透过了这首歌唱出了情人之间的天真、浪漫和遗憾。
以为这一切能走到生命的尽头,却没想到那么快就结束。
记得十六岁的那年,我和他,坐在海边,欣赏傍晚时的夕阳。想起那画面,真的很美,很美,很美。
现在,怎么还有机会能和他一起坐在那欣赏这让人赏心悦目的夕阳?
想起这一切,就因为曾相爱,才叫人心酸。为什么要这样?

Forever Love

爱你 不是因为你的美而已
我越来越爱你 每个眼神触动我的心
因为你让我看见forever 才了解自己
未来这些日子 要好好珍惜

爱我 有些痛苦有些不公平
如果真的爱我 不是理所当然的决定
感到你的呼吸在我耳边 像微风深情
温柔的安抚 我的不安定
所以我要 每年研究你的笑容
喔~~多么自然

Forever love Forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后 你会是所有 幸福的理由

爱情 是场最美最远的旅行
沿途遇经泥泞 偶尔阻碍我们的前进
感到你的体温在我怀里 像阳光和煦
巧妙的熔化 我的不安定
不可思议 证明我爱你的理由
喔~~ 多么自然

Forever love Forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后 你会是所有 幸福的理由

你感动的眼睛 我沉默的声音 仿佛就是最好的证明
就让我再说一次 I love you 直到永远

Oh Forever love Forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后 你会是所有 幸福的理由
Forever love
Forever love
Forever love...

这首王力宏的《Forever Love》是我们的主题曲,也是我们之间的约定、承诺和心声。
我会爱他一辈子,很可惜,他不是。

关于我

关于我 关于我

你知道什么

我的快乐 我的忧伤

我的理想和寂寞

关于我 关于我

我的来头 我的去处

我的过程和结束

关于我

关于我

《关于我》收集在林宥嘉2009年的第二专辑,《感官/世界》。

这首歌以简单方式弹奏,就清唱和一把吉他。他唱得不仅把我们带进他的内心世界,而且也让我们感受到他内心的寂寞和不被人同之处。

听过了这首歌,我内心也起了共鸣。朋友、情人,他们说过,他们很了解我。但其实他们不曾真正了解过我。甚至有人说:“你怎么那么让人捉摸不清?我要怎么才能进入你的世界?我要怎样在能乐街你更多?”我的快乐,我的忧伤,我的理想,我的寂寞,你们又知道什么?