Tuesday, January 24, 2012

真相正在揭晓的阶段

没行了。这也证明,这一切都是错觉,过去的回忆在脑海里徘徊造成的错觉。
也证明了,一些都不能回到过了。也是证明种种的问题。因为他已结婚了。
这也证明了,我应该更爱我现任男朋友(我有啊)。也证明了,他就是那唯一,我该专注的人。
如果真的能让我选择,我真的不想再回来着伤心之地。因为这里也是错觉与忧郁的起因。

Sunday, January 22, 2012

下着雨的新年

我外表看似刚强,但不能干部代表我内心不软弱。要装得若无其事确实难,但这是必要的。

如果能给我选择,我真的很想永远都不会来这伤心之地。每当回来,只会让我更胡思乱想,让我更烦恼,更伤心,脾气更暴躁。难道说,谈了多久恋爱,分手了,就要用谈了多久恋爱的时间来忘掉?这理论真的当真?

这地方,就是让我忧郁的开始。好不容易去了一个较远的地方读书,我才慢慢的开朗了起来。可是也必不得已,谁叫我生在此处。每当放假就得回来,不回又被唠叨。而一回来,就无聊半死,还得承受那该死的痛。悲哀啊。

我真的好像封闭自己,真的好像独自一人。真的真的不想再回来,以免这种悲哀的思绪一直纠缠着我...... 农历新年,就因种种原因而弄垮了我对农历新年的盼望与兴奋。

Sunday, January 8, 2012

2012, the NEW YEAR

WOW, it seems pretty long time I did not update my blog. Until a friend of my requested me to update just now, sort of.

Be honest I'm kinda lazy to update my blog last few months. And I really can't remember what i had busied of till i lazy to update my blog.

So what i should start of???

2012 is another new year. Well, it is another new year to set some goals for the year. And also another new start. Means we should continue to move on from past. What has past yet past.
And end of the year, it is always a good moment to reflect ourselves throughout what we did in the whole year.

When i look back to 2011, for the whole year, sometimes i feel grateful, sometimes i feel happy, and of course angry and sad.

Family:
2011- Sometimes we quarreled, sometimes we friend.
2012- But when comes to 2012, and when i got back home since holiday now for few months, i'm kinda surprise that i can mix well with them now. And also, i realize i really miss my youngest brother. So far having a great time with my family.

Friendships:
2011- Well, friend list no. still growing. What i mean is not the friend list in Facebook but in real life. It is good to know more people. In 2011, i somehow sometimes still feel helpless when i really need help. Haiz... Then some people, selfish, sen kah, etc. Really makes you beh tahan and wanna explode. BOOM! But I also happy i knew bunch of friends that they really good.
Some good friends left, kinda sad also. Well, they need move on wad.
Some good friends changed, which really made me sad and felt disappointed. Was thinking, last time we used to hang out together in a group. But now, they totally changed to certain level that i felt like i no longer know them.
Some friends left/cut out from my friend list.
Some friends made you feel like punching them.
Etc........

Study:
2011- Study so far so good. Was in the 1st year for degree. Knew some new friends also, still, I can't never have my own groups of friends in school, means random. =.=''' Experienced a lot also, studied a lot also. Recently, around end of November 2011, i had my final exam. I didn't really do well in it. End up, i failed one of the subjects. Kinda disappointed. But during the re-sit exam which fall in Jan 2012, before i came back to hometown, i thanked God for His wisdom, strength, presence and protection during my exam, that i able to do well, at least better than before.

Relationship:
2011- Well, this one for sure always good one. Haha.... Around end of October 2011, we celebrated our 1st anniversary. That day itself had sweet moment and also some moment which made you blasted. Well, still thanked God for the whole year that He had blessed and be with us in this relationship. At here once again, I really thanks God for this man, this Mr.Right, that he so loves me. In this relationship, I not only experience his love, but His love as well. Sometimes feel like i'm not only pak toh with him, but also with Him? Hahaha....
Talk about him, sometimes really make you feel like jumping or dancing around because you happy, sometimes make you feel like banging your head to the wall or jumping around like an angry and mad guy(zat zat tiu-cantonese). Whatever he does, he happy, i happy; he angry, i angry. But the good thing of all these are, the love and happiness in this relationship is far more than anger and sadness.
Experienced a sweet simple love as well.
Sometimes, all these reminded me of what had happened in my past few years before i met my Mr.Right. Everything in the past is a hurting in my life. I have to confessed, some of the things that happened in the past few years, until now, i still can't forget. It is too deep. Guess this has became a forever-scar in my heart. How i wish i never met them, or just a particular him, a guy which had hurt me deeply in past few years.
But still, all these can never stop me from pursuing my happiness with my Mr.Right. He has become part of my life. What if my life without him one day, i don't think i can be as happy as now. He is everything to me. A good leader, a good lover, a good hugger, a good caring person, a good laughter/joker.
Thank you my love,i love you so much and looking forwards for the future which have you there be with me.

Work:
Since I'm having holiday from Decemeber 2011 til end of March 2012, means i have 4 months holiday. That is really a long long long holiday. I decided to work part time for church. So far i felt happy to serve God, not only serving Him by doing usher but also work for Him. So far so good. Well, came back hometown for a month. Then will go back to work again for another one and a half month.

Er..... I really can't think of anything to write le. 2011, spent a lot money, watched a lot good movies, ate a lot nice food, that's why now my mum complaining that im fat. I'm not fat at all. Urgh!

Anyway, looking forward to 2012.

Hope this year more things happen which can make my life more colorful so that i can update my blog all the time. Hahaha...

God bless.